Don't assume you have to talk. A hug or a squeeze of the hand can be more comforting than words.

Don't tell your own grief story unless asked.

Don't offer advice—of any kind.

Don't assume that if someone believes in an afterlife, they will have less need to grieve.

Don't say things like "He's in a better place" or "At least her suffering is over." Any sentence that begins with the phrase "at least" is received as minimizing and isn't comforting.

Don't impose your personal beliefs about death and the afterlife on the griever.

Do give grievers your full, focused attention.

Do share your memories of the loved one and encourage grievers to share theirs.

Do invite grievers to short, low-intensity activities, such as lunch, family night, or a walk or bike ride.

Do allow a griever to express his or her honest feelings, including anger at God and anger at the deceased.

Do share a book or other resource that has helped you with grief.